october

hi friends!!

I can't believe that October is already behind us! It was a great month full of lots of time to think about the past and day dream about the future.

I've been in a really reflective mood this month and have spent a lot of time thinking about some of the things I would change if I could rewind the clock. Although I know thinking about what you wish you could change about the past won't effect anything in the present it has helped me think more about the person I want to be in the future, and how I should be striving to become her now.

The month of October was accompanied by alot of clarity too. I've always known that the people you surround yourself with can have the big effect on you and it has been really beautiful to allow people in enough to effect me, and to feel that change in the best way! I've been surrounded by so many joyful people and its been such a blessing to feel that joy myself. I am unbelievably grateful to have had the opportunity to come back to College Station this semester because leaving college the way that I felt last May would have broken my heart.

I won't pretend that October was completely sunny though, there were a few tough days, but I will say that those days taught me alot too. I worked in a resustraunt one summer and ya know went through middle school and high school looking like I was 6 years younger than I am so I've experienced my fair share of not so kind people over the years. I started a new job this semester to try and save up some or mollah before nursing school and one of the groups I was taking care of actually destroyed me. I've never before experienced people that made me feel as though I wasn't worthy to breathe the air they breathe. Although it really hurt to be in an environment that felt like that, and on top of that to have to force myself to plaster a smile to my face, it did make me think about how many times I've maybe unintentional made others feel the way I felt in that moment. I hope I've never hurt anyone to the degree those people hurt me and I pray that I going forward I may always remember how I felt in that moment and how important it is to treat the people around me with the gentle kindness everyone deserves.

That leads me to my last though on this spooky month!! :)

At the beginning of my senior year of high school my church went on a mission trip together where I was introduced to the Fruits of the Spirit song. Weirdly enough even five years later this song still pops in my head at least once a week (tbh its catchy). Anyway for those of you that don't know, the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patiences, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control (oh! oh!). At one time or another one of the fruits of the spirit has really drawn me in and weighted heavily on my heart and right now I really feel a pull to gentleness. I'm still trying to figure out whats pulling me towards this fruit in particular and what the Spirit is trying to tell me but I am pretty excited to find out.

Hoping everyone has had a joyful October and praying for a November full of love, joy, peace, patiences, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control (oh! oh!).

-- Sarah